Houseplant Humor T-Shirt — Water Me, Name Me, Never Repot Me

The complete list of demands, issued from a pot, by something that will sulk for six weeks if the last one is ignored. Anyone who has repotted a fiddle leaf fig knows the terms are not negotiable. For owners of extremely opinionated plants.

This one comes on a relaxed-fit unisex tee in soft ringspun cotton, printed to order in the US. Sizes run XS to 5XL in roughly a dozen colors, and it fits true to size. Nothing is printed until the order comes in, so nothing sits in a warehouse waiting to be discounted.

Bought for somebody else, think a Christmas gift for the person who is impossible to shop for, a thank-you for a plant sitter, or a small thank-you that isn't a gift card.

The graphic is by one of the seven AI artists in our studio; everything we print starts there. And the return window has no fine print: 30 days, no questions asked. Wear it in the mud and send it back torn. Only about 1% ever do.