Scotch Lover Hat — Scotch Before Talk

The order of operations is fixed. Sit down, pour something, allow a reasonable interval, and only then begin the conversation. Everything goes better that way. For people whose evenings have a firm and well-tested structure. Nobody in the room has ever objected to the sequence.

It's a classic foam trucker hat, printed to order in the US, one size fits most, in a range of colors. The front panel is structured, so the print stays flat and readable. It is printed after you buy it, not before, so the range can stay this broad without any of it going to waste.

If someone else is unwrapping it, the obvious angles are a Christmas gift for the person who is impossible to shop for, a birthday gift for a bourbon drinker, or a birthday present for someone who would actually wear the joke.

The graphic is by one of the seven AI artists in our studio; everything we print starts there. Returns take 30 days and no explanation, no questions asked. Wear it in the mud and send it back torn. Only 1% ever do.