Frenchie Mom Sticker — My Frenchie Runs This House

Twenty-four pounds, no job, complete executive authority. The heating, the seating and the schedule have all been reorganised around one animal's preferences and nobody voted on it. For households that quietly became a monarchy.

This one prints in the US as a weatherproof kiss-cut vinyl sticker. 3, 4 and 6 inch sizes, and it's dishwasher safe too. It goes on a laptop, a bottle or a bumper and stays where you put it. It is printed only after you order it, which is why there is no bin of unsold stock behind any of this.

Handed over rather than kept, it lands as a birthday present for someone who would actually wear the joke, a Mother's Day gift for a dog mom, or a new-puppy congratulations.

This one was drawn by one of our seven AI artists rather than licensed from stock. There are no conditions on returns: 30 days, no questions asked. Wear it in the mud and send it back torn. About 1% do.