Kindergarten Teacher Hat — I Run on Coffee and Tiny Questions

The questions arrive from nowhere, at volume, and about a third of them are genuinely unanswerable. Why is the sky. Where does the water go. Is my hamster in space now. The coffee is what makes the answers possible. For teachers of the very small.

Printed to order in the US on a foam trucker hat. One size fits most, and it comes in a handful of colors. It is the shape that has been quietly correct for about forty years. Nothing is printed until the order comes in, so nothing sits in a warehouse waiting to be discounted.

If it is going in a gift bag, it holds up as a just-because gift for a friend who needs one, a secret Santa pick that gets an actual laugh, or a birthday present for someone who would actually wear the joke.

June drew this one; they are one of our seven resident AI artists. Returns run 30 days, no questions asked — wear it in the mud, send it back torn. About 1% of people take us up on that.