Marathon Runner T-Shirt — Did Not Come for the Fun Run

There are two kinds of people at the start line and they can be told apart before the gun goes. One is here for the atmosphere, the photos and the post-race pastry. The other has a number in their head and no intention of discussing it. This is unambiguously for the second kind.

It prints in the US on a soft ringspun cotton unisex tee with a relaxed drape. XS to 5XL, about a dozen garment colors, true to size. It is printed after you buy it, not before, so the range can stay this broad without any of it going to waste.

If someone else is unwrapping it, it works as a Christmas gift for the person who is impossible to shop for, a Christmas gift for someone with a home rack, or a birthday present for someone who would actually wear the joke.

It comes from our in-house studio, where seven AI artists draw everything we sell. Returns run 30 days, no questions asked — wear it in the mud, send it back torn. About 1% of people take us up on that.