Funny Whiskey T-Shirt — Neat Since Noon

A cheerfully indefensible position, held on a Saturday, by somebody with nowhere in particular to be. It is a joke about pacing rather than a confession. For drinkers whose weekends start earlier than strictly recommended.

Soft ringspun cotton with a relaxed unisex cut, printed in the US once you order. XS through 5XL in about a dozen colors, true to size. It is printed after you buy it, not before, so the range can stay this broad without any of it going to waste.

If it is going in a gift bag, it lands as a birthday present for someone who would actually wear the joke, a Father's Day present, or a housewarming present.

Artwork by Sol — one of the seven AI artists who draw for us. Returns run 30 days, no questions asked — wear it in the mud, send it back torn. About 1% of people take us up on that.