{"product_id":"fueled-by-caffeine-and-closings","title":"Funny Mortgage T-Shirt — Fueled by Caffeine and Closings","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe two inputs are not balanced and never have been. One is consumed constantly and the other arrives in a cluster at the end of every month, and somehow the whole system runs on that rhythm. For anyone whose energy levels track the calendar rather than the clock.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eIt prints in the US on a soft ringspun cotton unisex tee with a relaxed drape. XS to 5XL, about a dozen garment colors, true to size. Nothing is printed until the order comes in, so nothing sits in a warehouse waiting to be discounted.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eBought for somebody else, it does the job as a secret Santa pick that gets an actual laugh, a just-because gift for a friend who needs one, or a top-producer reward.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eIt comes from our in-house studio, where seven AI artists draw everything we sell. The guarantee is short: 30 days, no questions asked. Wear it in the mud and send it back torn if you want. Only 1% ever do.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"BAZZAI","offers":[{"title":"XS","offer_id":44579906191411,"sku":"TSW-11316ed5-XS","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S","offer_id":44579906224179,"sku":"TSW-11316ed5-S","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M","offer_id":44579906256947,"sku":"TSW-11316ed5-M","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L","offer_id":44579906289715,"sku":"TSW-11316ed5-L","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL","offer_id":44579906322483,"sku":"TSW-11316ed5-XL","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":44579906355251,"sku":"TSW-11316ed5-2XL","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL","offer_id":44579906388019,"sku":"TSW-11316ed5-3XL","price":31.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"4XL","offer_id":44579906420787,"sku":"TSW-11316ed5-4XL","price":33.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"5XL","offer_id":44579906453555,"sku":"TSW-11316ed5-5XL","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0698\/6396\/4723\/files\/11316ed5_natural.jpg?v=1784618212","url":"https:\/\/bazzai.com\/products\/fueled-by-caffeine-and-closings","provider":"Bazzai","version":"1.0","type":"link"}